Glimpses of the Dawn

The last year (well, really two years) of my life have been much harder than I expected. In many ways, I have been given so much. I have a job, a great family, a house to live in, community, etc. But, there have been some incredible challenges as well. One of my families dearest friends died from cancer. Any of you who have read my blog, or know me, know about Lee. He was an incredible man who died much to early. I still start to cry when I think about his death. I have had several medical problems that I just can't find solution for. There has been drama with people near to me. I have moved, and have to move again soon. I am still single, yet wanting to get married. And trying to figure out how to live life fully and joyfully and not put my life on hold while I also wait for that relationship to happen. In the last two years, I went through counseling and made big changes to my life. I mean big changes. And many other things I won't bore you with mentioning. 

And to be honest, I am exhausted. Emotionally and spiritually exhausted. This season has drained me. It has caused me to often doubt God's goodness. It has challenged me and grown me in ways I could have never expected. And while growth is good, I am kind of over it right now. The last few months I have often found myself begging God for this season to end. To just let me have the things I want, to be "happy," to get to move on to other things. And he has steadily said "no," which hasn't gone over well with me. I find myself to be very impatient and want the things I want now, not later. 

I was sitting at dinner with a dear sweet friend a couple weeks ago and just recounting how hard everything has been. She listened kindly, and then she challenged me. Challenged me to trust God even though I am weary. Challenged me to read an amazing book that is helping change me outlook on this season "The Gospel of Ruth," and then she said something that I have started to cling on to the last couple weeks. I was telling her about this song I loved from Stefani Gretzinger that has this line, "though the night is long, there's a coming dawn." It's written in big letters on the chalkboard in my room and I read it multiple times a day. She said that I should start looking for little things, little glimpses of the dawn to remind me that God is here and he is good. That just struck me, in fact, I pulled out my phone and wrote that down right away. And, I have started looking for those little glimpses each day. Looking for little reminders that I am not alone, that God is trustworthy, and that he holds the whole world in his hands. And I started tagging my pictures as such, using #glimpsesofthedawn (I kept misspelling glimpses at first, thankfully a kind friend helped me out with my terrible spelling). 

It's such a small thing, just photos on my Instagram, but each time I stop to notice a flower, or the sky, or a person and snap a picture and upload it with the tag, it's a simple reminder for me. And it has helped me to hope in ways I haven't for many months. If you are in a challenging or difficult season, won't you join me? Simple hashtag your picture #glimpsesofthedawn and remind yourself that God is good and that you aren't alone.